All women have some relationship with their body - sometimes it is healthy, sometimes it is judgmental, sometimes it is critical, sometimes it is grateful, sometimes it is unhealthy, sometimes it is “daaamn you look good”. There have been times in my life when I would look at my body in the mirror - specifically, what I consider “love handles” - and be so disappointed. Usually these periods coincided with some other kind of emotional event in my life, like being homesick when I studied abroad in college or the first year traveling for my job.

Last winter, when Nate and I were doing long distance while he traveled the world, was one of those times that I was particularly critical on my body. I opened up on the blog about it at times, but I don’t think it fully captured how all-consuming my thoughts were regarding those godforsaken love handles! I was teetered on being extremely restrictive with my eating and then binging - even if it was binging on healthy foods - and feeling very frustrated with myself all around.

Then I went to a yoga class which had a bunch of mirrors. And there I was judging the way my love handles looked in every down dog, the way my arms looked during every cat/cow pose. I certainly admired other parts of my body - my slender legs, narrow hips, face - whatever. I just spent so much of the class judging myself, looking at myself, for better or worse.

I proceeded to take a look around the class. There were women who were bigger than me, and women who were smaller than me. Women who had tinier waists, and women who had bigger hips. Women who were a lot heavier than me, and women who were skinnier than me. Women who were taller (hold that thought - actually everyone is taller than me). Women who were older, and women who were younger. And there was not one body that I didn’t think was beautiful.

I looked around the room, and I asked myself “do you think she is beautiful?” And the answer to each was a resounding “yes!!” Sure, many of these women had what would be considered traditional flaws in our eyes - but it didn’t matter. I still thought each of them was perfect. I remember actively asking myself, “if you can be so gracious to other women’s bodies, why can’t you be the same to your own?” I remember almost bringing myself to tears as I thought about how unforgiving I am to my own body, but so accepting and loving towards every other woman’s. I realized that I should do unto myself as I do unto others.

It truly felt like an epiphany moment for me. And now when I have days where I look in the mirror and I judge, I go back to that place and realize that everyone already accepts and likes the way I look, and that there is so much more to my beauty than the fact that I store some fat around my waist. And when I interact with my friends and family and Nate and colleagues and strangers, they are not interacting with my muffin top. They are looking at me as a whole person, and if they aren’t focusing on that flaw, why should I waste any more time on it either? In fact, they are probably noticing all of the “good” things about me and not even noticing those “flaws”!

So that is my story for you. Thanks for reading - I hope it resonates with you as well!