All women have some relationship with their body - sometimes it is healthy, sometimes it is judgmental, sometimes it is critical, sometimes it is grateful, sometimes it is unhealthy, sometimes it is “daaamn you look good”. There have been times in my life when I would look at my body in the mirror - specifically, what I consider “love handles” - and be so disappointed. Usually these periods coincided with some other kind of emotional event in my life, like being homesick when I studied abroad in college or the first year traveling for my job.
Last winter, when Nate and I were doing long distance while he traveled the world, was one of those times that I was particularly critical on my body. I opened up on the blog about it at times, but I don’t think it fully captured how all-consuming my thoughts were regarding those godforsaken love handles! I was teetered on being extremely restrictive with my eating and then binging - even if it was binging on healthy foods - and feeling very frustrated with myself all around.
Then I went to a yoga class which had a bunch of mirrors. And there I was judging the way my love handles looked in every down dog, the way my arms looked during every cat/cow pose. I certainly admired other parts of my body - my slender legs, narrow hips, face - whatever. I just spent so much of the class judging myself, looking at myself, for better or worse.
I proceeded to take a look around the class. There were women who were bigger than me, and women who were smaller than me. Women who had tinier waists, and women who had bigger hips. Women who were a lot heavier than me, and women who were skinnier than me. Women who were taller (hold that thought - actually everyone is taller than me). Women who were older, and women who were younger. And there was not one body that I didn’t think was beautiful.
I looked around the room, and I asked myself “do you think she is beautiful?” And the answer to each was a resounding “yes!!” Sure, many of these women had what would be considered traditional flaws in our eyes - but it didn’t matter. I still thought each of them was perfect. I remember actively asking myself, “if you can be so gracious to other women’s bodies, why can’t you be the same to your own?” I remember almost bringing myself to tears as I thought about how unforgiving I am to my own body, but so accepting and loving towards every other woman’s. I realized that I should do unto myself as I do unto others.
It truly felt like an epiphany moment for me. And now when I have days where I look in the mirror and I judge, I go back to that place and realize that everyone already accepts and likes the way I look, and that there is so much more to my beauty than the fact that I store some fat around my waist. And when I interact with my friends and family and Nate and colleagues and strangers, they are not interacting with my muffin top. They are looking at me as a whole person, and if they aren’t focusing on that flaw, why should I waste any more time on it either? In fact, they are probably noticing all of the “good” things about me and not even noticing those “flaws”!
So that is my story for you. Thanks for reading - I hope it resonates with you as well!
Thanks for stopping by! 
Thank you for sharing your story, Dani. I’ve often had the same thoughts where I would step back and say “this person is beautiful, why do not I think the same of myself?” We are always more critical of ourselves than we are of others.
Stacie @ SimplySouthernStacie recently posted…Eating Around the World: Disney Food and Wine Festival Part 2/ Birthday Celebrations
So very true! We notice so many more of our own flaws.
Dani recently posted…Do Unto Yourself as You Would Do Unto Others
This post totally resonates with me. I am extremely judgemental of myself, but I haven’t had an epiphany moment yet. I blame it on the fact that growing up I was always put on a scale along with my sister and we were judged against each other. Not saying that was right or wrong… just that it has effected how I see myself. I admire your new outlook on yourself - it’s strong, beautiful and inspiring. Kudos to you chicka.. go on with your bad self! 😉 (had to say that. Sorry!) Thanks for sharing, Dani! Cheers. <3
Oh it gets so complicated when you’re compared with someone who you live with! I don’t have a sister, but sometimes I find myself comparing myself to my mom since we are so similar in body type and I have to remind myself that i’m my own person with a very different body!
Dani recently posted…Do Unto Yourself as You Would Do Unto Others
YES. just yes. thank you for this, I needed it. (and I think you’re beautiful!) xoxo
Ashley | the Pike Place Kitchen recently posted…Dark Chocolate Sea Salt Bacon Popcorn!
ah, you are so welcome!!
<3
Dani recently posted…Do Unto Yourself as You Would Do Unto Others
OH my gosh I give a huge AMEN to this post!! I would never EVER call another woman beautiful. Even if her features were marred in some way, I would still always find the BEAUTY in her heart, soul, etc., because we are all so much more than our faces, bodies and appearance. So why don’t I do that to myself? Why do I only care about my outer appearance instead of my own heart?
Great, thought-provoking post girl!
Kat recently posted…Thinking Out Loud #60
So, so true. Beauty is just beyond one piece of flab or one scar!
Dani recently posted…Do Unto Yourself as You Would Do Unto Others
I love this. I think growing up dancing in front of a mirror for hours a day, several days a week definitely had an effect on me growing up. I’m getting better at accepting my imperfections, but it has been a journey, that is for sure. Thanks for sharing Dani <3
Ashley @ Fit Mitten Kitchen recently posted…Whole Wheat Coconut Scones [dairy-free]
Oh I can only imagine! Staring at yourself all day and just nitpicking certain items about your form, etc.
Isn’t it crazy how we’re SO hard on ourselves but we would never think those thoughts about other people?! Loved this post, Dani!
Liz @ I Heart Vegetables recently posted…What I Ate: The Leftover Edition
Honestly would never nitpick somebody else like I do myself!
I saw one of those inspirational memes on Instagram on this very same topic today, so YES, it resonates. If only we were as kind to ourselves as we are to others (most of the time). I think it’s safe to say most people aren’t obsessing about your appearance at all. They like you for you! And you look great! Thanks for the thoughts, Dani!
Ashley @ A Lady Goes West recently posted…A “thankful for fitness” workout you can do at home
Happy to share!! And everything you said is so true.
I could relate to everything you said here, and have had very similar thoughts myself. I am so conscious of what I say to others and how I make them feel, but do not nearly pay enough attention to how I am talking to myself, and how I feel about myself. I get so caught up in a comparing mode, and have noticed that my moods often tie into if I’m having a good body image day or not. Our relationships with our bodies are so complex, thank you for sharing your story and these thoughts.
Liora recently posted…Wild Rice Stuffed Squash
I’m glad it resonated!! It almost felt selfish how much time I was spending thinking about myself, you know?
LOVE THIS. We are way too critical on ourselves but give so much compassion and love to others - which is important, but we need to learn how to show that to ourselves as well!! xoxo
Cassie @ Almost Getting it Together recently posted…How to Host the Perfect Friendsgiving
Agreed - a million times over!
Beautiful post!
Thank you, Karen!